Day 22/Paleo on-the-go!

Alright, well this weekend was my first experience with taking paleo on the go with me.  I was invited to a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's for my 4 year old cousin.  My first reaction:

Running, screaming, unidentified smells, germs, and children in general? OOOOOOF.   But I love my Nikkipedia and his psychotic 19 year old sister/my other cousin freaked out so hard that I almost wanted to go just to see if she'd go into cardiac arrest.

However, this still left me with a few issues.

1) Party is in Houston, so I wanted to go the night before (staying at Kevin's parents' house).  What would I bring for dinner, breakfast, and lunch?!

2) No birthday cake for me? :(

Well I remedied the dessert issue faster than I could even blink.  Pre-paleo, I LOVED baking and making sweets.  Every holiday, birthday, party, you named it.  It was my favorite way to share food with people.  So why should that have to change?

I made these Mini Chocolate Pies with Raw Graham Cracker Crust

These were so easy and so cheap to make!  Which is unusual for paleo desserts.  Most call for alternative flours, like coconut flour and almond meal which can run up to $11 per pound up here!  No thanks.  These just have a handful of ingredients tossed in a food processor

So rich and simple.  They just tasted like wads of dark chocolate.  Even kevin liked them, and he hates coconut!

Then the second issue: how to eat at a house I don't live in? LEFTOVERSSSS.  I packed up all the leftovers I was scheduled to eat over the weekend, and then grabbed a banana and some eggs for the two ingredient pancakes.  I don't use syrup, so I grabbed one of those individual packets of almond butter! 

Toss in some chopped strawberries and ta-da!  Simple paleo breakfast.

Now as for the party....

First off, my cousin delivered.  She went bat shit insane over the games and it was the highlight of my year so far.  It was infectious, and soon we cared much more about annihilating skee ball and guitar hero than about somebody's birthday

(You can tell that I'm terrible because I had fallen off the course at this point)

I didn't eat perfectly paleo, I ate a few bone-in wings and drank some soda, but my stomach tolerated it well enough (thankfully).  I also snacked on some of my mini pies :)  It helped hit my sweet tooth without having to eat a slice of cake (which has always made me sick).

After the party was said and done and we were on our way back, I realized I was still pretty hungry (since I limited my intake of party food).  Where could we go out to dinner?  There was no way in hell I was going to cook after spending my day around energy-sucking monsters (children). 

SUSHIIIIIIIIIII 

Asked for extra radish, brought my own paleo-friendly soy sauce in my purse (lookin' like a fuhhhREAK) and tada!  Easy, easy dinner.  Put me into a food coma instantly. 

AND FINALLY: GARDEN UPDATE 

Well the freeze destroyed my tomatoes and squash, hahaha.  I'm a little frustrated, but I'm just going to plant some more after this next dip into cold weather this week (TEXAS, Y U NO STAY WARM).  But my indoor seeds have started to sprout! 

I always feel like a farming genius when I look at them.  HOW DO THEY DO THAT?  How are they alive?!  Plants fascinate me.  Only because I'm too lazy to really learn about them.  But this ....weird level of fascination makes them feel more like pets than plants.  It's like an aquarium of plants instead of fish. 

Oh my god I'm still so tired from yesterday, just pretend that I'm making sense.

WHATEVER SO HERE'S MY HERB GARDEN, RIGHT

So it's not pretty, whatever.  I still think it's fabulous!  That empty space on the second row is for chives and something else I've already forgotten about.  Basil?  I don't remember.  They're still trying to sprout indoors so it'll be a surprise for me I guess. 

Day 17: Holy new favorite recipe!

Man, oh man, I wasn't planning on writing about anything today because nothing of particular interest happened, but this recipe was AMAZING.  Seriously, it was so simple and yet soooooooo good for reasons I don't quite understand.

If you decide to make ANY recipe I talk about on here, let it be this one.  It was cheap, easy, and used one pan (not including any side veggies).

Alright: Ground Beef Lettuce Wraps. 

"Chrissy, I make those all the time.  I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to cheap ass Asian entrees." 

NO.  NO, YOU HAVE NEVER MADE THESE.  THESE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.  This recipe came from Nom Nom Paleo, one of the most helpful resources I've found during this transition.

What you'll need: 

• 16oz mushrooms (I bought the pre-sliced this one time for extra convenience)
• 3 green onions, whites and greens separated 
• 1lb ground beef (I bought grassfed, but you could buy whatever fat content with which you're most comfortable)
• 1-2 tablespoons of fish sauce
• 1-2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar
• 1-2 tablespoons coconut aminos (or soy sauce**, for you non-paleo :P)
• 1 bag of broccoli slaw
• Whatever your preferred lettuce for wraps is

Heat up your oil of choice (I use coconut oil) and fry up those mushrooms with the whites of the green onions.  When you think they're ready for company, toss in the beef.  Poke it and stuff and break it apart.  It's okay, it will overcome this trauma of being separated and turn into something delicious. 

Once it has stopped crying blood and being a pink blob, add in the fish sauce, apple cider vinegar, and soy sauce**.   If you don't have these - DON'T SUBSTITUTE.  Seriously, they're what made this dish so freakishly amazing. 

Then add in the bag of stringy veggie goodness and keep poking around until they have softened up like the murdered vegetables they are.  Throw it in a fabulous lettuce bowl..

TA DA! 

We had ours with roasted broccoli and braised cabbage.  It was....

(I freaking love Archer)

Can you believe there was ever a time I hated mushrooms?  What a fool I was.  

Day 15 More Gardening and Prep!

Sunday Funday! AKA Sunday No-Fun-At-All-Because-I'm-Up-To-My-Eyeballs-In-Crap

me on Sunday mornings

I started my day with a big stack of 2-ingredient pancakes

People always complain that they can't get these to work, but honestly they're so easy and a freakin' staple in my breakfast routine.  I slathered on some homemade almond butter and cooked blueberries.  

**Sidenote** It is SO easy to make your own nut butters, guys.  Especially if you have a food processor.  Just get some dry roasted nuts of your choosing (don't get the salted kind - you can add your own salt later) and just throw them in there!  Let it run for 5-10 minutes.  It'll go through different stages until VOILA!  Almond butter.  Still warm.  Mmmmmmm.  

Then I headed out to Home Depot for some more planting shit.  When I stepped outside, it was a little cool, but no need for a jacket.  So I put on flip flops. 

By the time I got to the freakin' gas station, it had dropped by nearly ten degrees. 

WHAT.  THE.  HECK. 

So I show up at Home Depot lookin' like a crazy hot mess (or freezing mess) in my ripped jeans and flip flops.  After running MORE ERRANDS IN FLIP FLOPS I finally made it home for meal prep. 

Unf.  I literally just cooked an entire package of bacon for the week, hahaha.  I buy uncured bacon now and I kind of prefer it!  Easy switch. 

Also, I made chia seed pudding!  Chia seeds are a neat little superfood.  When mixed with liquids, they turn into gel!  

 (Right after mixing)

(An hour after mixing)

What does this mean health-wise?  When they turn into a gel, chia seeds will cling to bile salts (into which the liver has dumped toxins) and other things in your digestive track and help remove them for you!  They're great, I love 'em.  Start slowly though, they make you poop! 

I also prepped for breakfast this week, nothing fancy, just some shredded sweet potatoes

The plan is to fry 'em in a pan for a few minutes and then fry an egg to slide on top!  It sounds super good so here's hoping that it turns out well tomorrow morning when I'm in crunch time to get to work :P 

There was more meal prep, but I won't bore you with the details (I'm sure I already have).  But I set up my herb garden! 

It's currently sitting in the garage thanks to this unprecedented freeze.  Hmph. But I'm glad to have gotten it started!  The two extra tall empty boxes are for things like green onions that will grow taller.  I still have to build my strawberry planter too, WHEW. 

Finally: dinner. 

Yerm.  Salmon with lemon kabobs.  Sooo easy.  I got the recipe from SkinnyTaste!  I've recommended that website to a few of you if you're just starting out with a diet overhaul.  She still uses bread and dairy and all the naughty things I've cut out, so don't fret :P  But her recipes are always very tasty and budget friendly.

I haven't really been bothering to share photos of our meals because frankly... they've been kind of ugly, haha.  I thought tonight's dinner looked more pleasant with the bright tomatoes and basil and cilantro on the eggplant stew.  Pretty or not, it's always delicious. 

And that wraps it up for Sunday Not-So-Funday! 

Day 14! Running, parties, and groceries.

Man oh man!  What a busy week it's been.  I'm proud to say that I've made it to day 14, two weeks without dairy, gluten, or soy :)

And honestly, I don't feel deprived.  I don't feel frustrated, and I don't feel many cravings (although the brownie bites helped).  According to the Whole30 Timeline I should be somewhere between Give Me A Damn Twinkie and Tiger Blood (hell yeah).  As I said before, I don't really have many cravings.  However, my energy levels have totally been up!  I remember when I used to search for a place to sleep during my conference periods, hahaha.  Now I can plow through my entire day and my workout afterward and still feel great!

Speaking of workouts, I have a running question: how the eff do you run in the cold?

Seriously.  I went running while it was still a bit chilly (like....in the 50's.  Yes, northerner friends, you may laugh) and it was my worst run yet.  Breathing through my nose burns my nostrils and it's hard for me to get enough air and I just feel weighed down.  Any pointers?

It probably also did not help that I was wearing enough clothes (shorts, sweatpants, shirt, and jacket) to look like a cross between Sarah Connor in the mental institute and a 90's soccer mom

I also received an invite to my baby cousin's birthday party!  If you didn't already know, I am IN LOVE with this kid, to the moon and back twice.  

He is my favorite baby (sorry mama friends).  He is so funny and smart and a big ol' sweetheart!  I don't see him as often as I'd like so I'm throwing together a kick ass birthday present (to be revealed later!).


Howeverrrrrr.... it doesn't take a scientist to realize that kids' birthday parties + Paleo eater = big ol' mess.  I've come to realize that this isn't like my "clean eating" days when I could stray on the weekends and recover the next day.  Eating something as simple as a single Oreo throws me into horrible digestive upset.

It sucks, but I feel like it really validates everything I'm eating.  But I have a plan! I'd like to make a Paleo dessert that I can bring with me to share, but also so I'll have something that I'm able to eat there.  I'll also have to pack a lunch to eat afterward, but it's worth it to see my favorite little dude!

And finally, today was grocery daaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Om nom nom.  I love grocery day!  I also clean out our fridge before loading all this stuff up and make sure everything is nice and organized :)

This week:
- Salmon kebabs with eggplant stew and tomato basil salad
- Beef mushroom lettuce cups with cabbage and brocooli
- Spicy tuna cakes with sweet potato biscuits and green beans


I also went shopping for plants with my mom!  We got a ton of stuff and I got my garden set up and (most of it) planted.

I am so excited to see how it goes!  I can't wait to have fresh (free) fruits and veggies.  I'll be working on my strawberry planter and herb garden tomorrow.  Prepare to be bombarded :)

Day 10 and free e-cookbook!

Yup, you read correctly!  Arsy Vartanian is giving out free copies of Easy Paleo Slow Cooker Meals.  Paleo or not, you can never go wrong with a hearty crockpot meal.  Who doesn't love free shit?!

If you stuck around for the complete blog post last time, you encountered my menstrual monologue, where I expressed my excruciating agony associated with my unruly uterus.  ..Anyone else love alliteration? 

ANYWAY,  after dying at the gym yesterday and ending up in tears, I decided to make those cramps my bitch today.  I went running and just told them to suck it.

And honestly?  I did feel a bit better.  Even though I probably should have worn a snorkeling mask and oxygen tank HOLY HUMIDITY (I seriously cannot stop with the alliteration). 

Lunch was another lovely adult lunchable 

 I don't even like deviled eggs, hahaha.  But I made these with my paleo mayo, the yolks, some vinegar, and BACONNNN.  That particular lunch also includes homemade applesauce, guac, and brownie bites.  I love the variety of these things.  I find them here!

Alright, so technically tonight was supposed to be a crockpot meal.  Toss some veggies and stock in the pot and toss the bird on top.  Cook on low for 4 hours.

Uhhh.... a whole chicken?  On low?  Yeahhhhh I ended up tossing that salmonella farm in an "oven safe" pan (that smells like cancer when it gets above 350 degrees) to let it finish.  It still turned out great!

I blended all the leftover veggies for "paleo gravy" and uhhhhh

 

It ended up looking like baby vomit.  But it tasted much better! (I'd imagine)  We sauteed some spinach and made another bowl of faux-tatoes (which I love). 

I think it turned out great!  I've been saving all my bones and organs and hope to make some bone broth soon.  Apparently that shit is like the elixir of life or something.  Paleo peeps seem obsessed. 

AND FINALLY: my second nature box arrived.  *sigh* I guess I wasn't paying much attention to what I picked (it was weeks ago) but nearly none of it is Paleo-friendly.

  It's all gluten-free and junk but it still has grains I shouldn't be eating (oatmeal, rice flour, etc.).  I've given a few bags to Kevin and will save a few for the occasional treat :) 

I ordered:

- Masa crisps (corn/grain)
- Peppery chickpeas (legume)

- Cherry ganach granola (oats, sugar)

- Peppery potato fries (potatoes, rice)

- Umami almonds (soy)

- Vegetable chips (soy) 

I'll probably just cancel it.  I enjoy my fresh fruit and veggie as a snack anyway!  

And finally, I've received a lot of messages asking for help, general questions, and even just "keep it up!" messages.  They are so great!  Thanks, you guys.  I'm not getting a whole lot of support on this so every bit means a lot to me :) 

Week One: Completed. Where's my damn energy?

Seriously.  A huge perk of paleo is supposed to be all this limitless energy.

Soo.... where is it?  I consulted my Whole30 timeline (which, reminder, I am not following the Whole30 program) which reminded me that it's totally normal to be tired around this marker.  The unlimited powah should show up anywhere from day 15 to day 26

......Okay.

Well I still managed to drag my ass around the kitchen and get TONS of prep done.

Started with breakfast

Breakfast sausage meatlof with a fried egg on top with cherry tomatoes!

Then I moved on to stuff I'd be packing for lunch:

Boiled some eggs, made more Paleo mayo, made more protein bars, homemade raw applesauce, and brownie bites :) I'm having old-school lunches this week with tons of snacks and these are the ones I made!  The rest are fruits and veggies.

This left me with about an hour or so of free time before making dinner.  I know it seems like I spend a lot of time prepping, and it's because I do.  I spend nearly my entire Sunday prepping for the entire week.  But you know what?  That extra time I spend today keeps me from needing to rely of fast food later in the week.  I fully believe that I save SO much money by never eating out during the week.  Kevin and I only go out once a week, normally lunch on Saturday so we can get lunch specials :)  With how much I cook, there's really no reason to go out.

Okay.  Food.

Cottage Pie with shredded Brussels sprouts.  Apparently shepherd's pie has lamb and beef, farmer's pie has chicken or something, and cottage pie has just beef?  Whatever, this is just beef.

But it was sooooooo good.  

Alright, TIME TO TACKLE THE REAL FRICKIN' PROBLEM OF TODAY.  BOYS, YOU MAY EXIT NOW.

Oh.  My.  God.  I'm surprised I got anything done today, real talk.  I just wanted to roll around on the floor and pity myself.  Or call an ambulance, because I'm sure it's not healthy to have several baby alligators who are on fire try and claw their way through my uterus with dull spoons that are also on fire.

"oh it's not that bad"

I always have bad cramps, but these took the cake.  And speaking of which, that is ALL I FREAKING WANT.  And I'm not about to go spend $50 on "paleo-fied" baking ingredients (i.e. almond flour, coconut sugar, etc.).  So what's a girl to do?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT: BROWNIE BITES

These actually hit the spot, weirdly enough.  There's only a handful of ingredients and took about 5 minutes, haha.  I'm thinking as a treat or gift, I should melt a bunch of paleo-friendly dark chocolate and dip them and make little paleo truffles for someone.  THAT WOULD BE REAL LOVE.

Another thing I do for cramps: yoga.  Yoga all the damn time.  I know it's hard to get up and move while bleeding all over the place and wanting to murder everything in sight and simultaneously wish that it would tell you that you're pretty, but movement helps.

I felt a million times better while stretching, and immediately worse once I stopped.  "just keep doing yoga for about 3-5 days, babe.  I'm sure you'll be fine" - Kevin.

............Somebody's not getting any f*cking brownie bites.